3 Ways to Suck at Guitar in 2011
It’s 2011, and it might be time to take your guitar playing to an entirely new low. So read on.
1. Practice Guitar More
That’s right. Spend hours and hours practicing. Don’t both with any practice techniques or taking breaks.
Just practice a lot. Hours are what matters anyway, right?
Forget about practicing everything perfect and disregard all considerations about practice efficiency.
2. Don’t Keep a Practice Log
Practice logs are lame anyway. If you’re going to practice a lot, it’s going to be way too much work to record all that nonsense anyway.
Never mind that when you’re practicing, you think of things that never would have occurred to you before. And forget that a practice log allows you to constantly have daily goals or, if you’re into lists, tasks to complete.
3. Spend All Your Practice Time on Technique
Or at least 50% of it. Forget that we play guitar to play music. Scales, arpeggios, and slurs are all more important.
And don’t forget that you should always try to have perfect technique from the start. Don’t do anything until your sure it’s correct–and be sure to ask about it on at least 5 guitar websites and forums.
More tips on how to suck at guitar (and be a terrible performer):
*Roll every chord: turn every chord into an arpeggio!
*Use rubato and rallentando everywhere: Fake your musical knowledge and try being “expressive” by having DISREGARD of the rhythm and the composer.
*Move around a lot while playing (as if feeling the music).
*Tell people how significant the work is, that you’re playing.
*Be superior, elitist, better than others.
*Post on many guitar forums, showing your knowledge.
*Be like Daniele Magli
*Be like Robert Ross